Memoirs of a Moorings

Weathering the Waiting

Waiting sucks.

Being the little brother sucks sometimes too.

I've learned this as I sit with my 3 year old during big brother's Saturday morning soccer practices.

It's tough to sit on the sidelines and watch the big kids play because you simply aren't old enough yet.

It's a tough season for my little one to be in. By all means, he's able to play. He's got a mean kick. Stamina for days and can hold his own with the best of them. But he's simply not old enough for the 7-year-old soccer class. And that just stinks.

So I do all I can to entertain him on the sidelines. I lend him my iPhone. Stuff his little hands full of snacks. Sit him on my lap and sing. Still....the waiting and watching is no fun.

Haven't we all been there. The season of waiting can try even the most patient soul.

Waiting on on doctor's report. Waiting on the notice about that job. Waiting on a promise from God. Waiting for the bad to turn to good...the night to turn to morning. Waiting and waiting. The more we wait, the more we come to realize that God is not in hurry. It's as if time doesn't exist where He is because our crying and pleading with Him to hurry up leaves Him unfazed. Or so it seems.

I think about watching the boys wait. They go crazy. They whine. They cry. They fall out. They complain. They fidget. They act like they are going to die.

Sadly,  how often do we do the same? We wait and look around at the world going by and think to ourselves, "I'm never going anywhere. I'm stuck right here."

But it's in the waiting that we gain strength. The wait isn't designed to make us stir crazy. It's designed to make us stronger.

Ps 27:14 "Wait for the LORD; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD."

We are called to be strong and let our hearts take courage in the wait....not grow weary. It's in the winds of waiting that are feet are planted firmly in faith.

When I tell the boys to wait because dinner is not quite ready, I'm not puniishing them, I'm simply needing more time to present them with something nourishing, delicious and worth waiting for. How much more does God do that for us? 

It would be crazy for the boys to grow tired of waiting for dinner and bust in the kitchen and try to cook dinner themselves. They aren't even capable of that yet. Likewise, we shouldn't bust into God's kitchen and try to rush things along. 

Psalm 104:27-28 says "These all wait for You, That You may give them their food in due season. What You give them they gather in;You open Your hand, they are filled with good."

It's true waiting sucks. But when the waiting season is over, your good is waiting. Trust that.

 

 

Take Those Dreams (& God) Out of the Box

There are some people you meet who leave an indelible mark on your heart. Not the kind that you want to wipe off or hide, but the kind that you cherish and touch from time to time just to make sure it's still there...just like a treasured necklace given to you as a gift that is so cute you can hardly believe it's yours.

In my BMAK life (before marriage and kids), I worked for a Southern-California based newspaper called L.A. Focus where I got to meet and interview celebrities and people whose lives were filled with great stories. One of those people is Therea Ordell who I met more than 15 years ago. I'd initially interviewed her mother Terri McFaddin a gifted author, anointed minister and Grammy-winning songwriter (she co-wrote the award winning movie theme, “Men in Black"), who told me her daughter had a story to tell--and BOY did she.

A talented writer and speaker in her own right, Theresa was born with a myriad of health challenges among them being born with three fingers on each hand and orthopedic discrepancies with the length of her legs. What struck me most about her was the miracle-working power of God in her life. I mean....I'd known and met some anointed folks in my life...but they were all older, not my age. But here was this cute little girl around my age who overflowed with God's power.

She has always been an inspiration to me. I don't know if I've ever told her that.

Just a couple of years back, she got married at the age of 40. An age, when most women would think that God had forgotten about them. This past weekend, I attended her baby shower to celebrate her soon-coming baby girl—a baby that doctors said would never come because she was considered unable to have childrlen at one time.

But she took a leap of faith and spoke a prayer to God (one that she admits she was too scared to even voice for fear of disappointment) but she spoke it anyway (with details) and He honored her request. She is due in May with a baby who doctors say is perfectly healthy and who is amazingly safely surrounded by 11 fibroids that are still in her pregnant womb.

During her shower, she shared her whole testimony of believing God for this miracle baby. How she'd wandered into Baby Gap and bought 2 outfits (1 boy, 1 girl) and tucked those boxes away in the closet without so much as mentioning to God her desire for a baby.

Isn't that what we so often do? Tuck our dreams & desires away in a closet without even bringing them before our Heavenly Father in prayer.

We do the same with God. This Saturday, she said, "It's so easy for us to put God in a box." Her mother had other mothers with "impossible" situations get up and share their testimonies. Then she laid hands on wives who wanted to have babies as well as single women who wanted to get married. It had to be one of the most blessed showers I've ever been to.

So often we look at what the doctors say: "Your window of time for pregnancy is over." We look at what our circumstances say: "You're too old. It's too late. It's too messed up."

But God's name is bigger than infertility, bankruptcy, divorce, broken dreams or whatever it is you may be facing. Theresa's pregnant belly reminded me of that fact.

And His love for us goes far beyond anything we can think of. His love for us is bigger than we can imagine.

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!" Ephesians 3:20 (The Message Bible)

Let’s never lose sight of just how big, powerful, loving and AMAZING our God is. The same God who parted the Red Sea for the children of Israel to escape from their enemies is the same God who opened up Theresa's womb and it's the same God who came to bring life to the unspoken prayer in your heart. Go ahead...take Him (& those dreams) out of that box and see what He can do.

Click here to get a peek at a bit of Theresa's dynamic teaching.

*photo of me and Theresa at her baby shower

Fun House Mirrors

"The folks who hate you, they don’t know you. What they hate is whatever fun-house mirror image of you that’s out there, and they don’t know you. And so, you don’t take it personally … I think that by the time you get here, you have to have had a pretty thick skin. If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have got here."

That quote was spoken by President Barack Obama yesterday during an interview with Bill O'Reilly. I was struck by the imagery of the fun-house mirror.

It 's so true that many times people who dislike us don't have an accurate description of us.

The same is true on the flip side. Sometimes folks fall in love with our fun-house mirror image. You know the one you show off on Facebook or on your blog. It's so easy to project the image you want people to see.

I take great comfort that God can see past all that straight to the heart. "For the LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought." I Chronicles 28:9

He knows the true image behind the fun-house mirror...and He even knows why we project those images. With that, He still chooses to love us.

We All Need A Dance

"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”

~Zephaniah 3:17

Mommy giving baby Shayne a kiss & a twirl.

Parenting is hard work. It can stretch us to our breaking point leaving us wondering if we are capable of such a emotionally taxing task.

Sprinkled on top of the hard work are moments of joy. I often look at the boys after they stretched me to no end and my heart bubbles over with love for them. Crazy how that happens. When they were babies, I remember picking them up and twirling them, dancing with them, singing over them. Though picking them up now is harder, there's still opportunities to grab their hands and dance and sing over and with them.

Dancing is inherent in us as humans. We danced on chubby toddler feet when we saw our parents. We danced on teen toes when we found out the crush was mututal. We danced on our wedding day in celebration of love. We dance over our children...extensions of our hearts.

And as we dance over our babies, God is dancing over us. The book of Zephaniah opens with God angry at His children for their disobedience and rebellion. Then, suddenly, God's stomping gives way to joyful singing as the Father dances and sings over His children (Zeph. 3:17). I think He looked into the faces of His children and was overcome with love...He just couldn't help Himself.

What an awesome thought that God dances and sings over us....right where we are. Even after we've messed up. Even when we think we aren't all we need to be. His dancing is an act of delight.

My heart melts at the thought.

Even more so...my heart melts at the thought that we can share that same feeling with those in our lives. Who can you sing and dance over today? Your children? Spouse? A friend?

Go 'head, grab their hand and give them a twirl. Show your delight & appreciation in them. It just might be the very thing they need.

I know I did.

 

Losses Are Survivable

Last year I wrote an email to my future self Futureme.org and it arrived today. I was struck by how encouraged I was by my own words. 2009 was tough. This year was tougher. But I declare that I'm climbing out of the rubble. Here's what I wrote to myself:

"Speaking at his father's funeral this year, Ted Kennedy, Jr. said, "my father taught me that even our most profound losses are survivable and it is what we do with that loss, our ability to transform it into a positive event, that is one of my father's greatest lessons. He taught me that nothing is impossible." Our most profound losses are survivable...I'm praying that as you read this that you have survived and are thriving. With God all things are possible. As I sit here on 12/31/09, I'm so uncertain of what the future holds. The only thing I'm certain of is that pain has been constant. I'm going into 2010 and the new decade trusting that God is going to restore what the enemy has stolen and make all things new.

I'm struck by another portion of Ted Kennedy Jr.'s speech: "But today I’m simply compelled to remember Ted Kennedy as my father and my best friend. When I was 12 years old, I was diagnosed with bone cancer. And a few months after I lost my leg, there was a heavy snowfall over my childhood home outside of Washington D.C. And my father went to the garage to get the old Flexible Flyer, and asked me if I wanted to go sledding down the steep driveway. And I was trying to get used to my new artificial leg. And the hill was covered with ice and snow. And it wasn’t easy for me to walk. And the hill was very slick. And as I struggled to walk, I slipped and I fell on the ice. And I started to cry and I said, I can’t do this. I said, I’ll never be able to climb up that hill. And he lifted me up in his strong, gentle arms and said something I will never forget, he said, I know you can do it. There is nothing that you can’t do. We’re going to climb that hill together, even if it takes us all day. Sure enough, he held me around my waist and we slowly made it to the top. And you know, at age 12 losing your leg pretty much seems like the end of the world. But as I climbed on to his back and we flew down the hill that day, I knew he was right. I knew I was going to be OK."

Sometimes heartache and sorrow builds roots in us in a way that normal living cannot do. Not sure how God is going to use what's transpired this past year. Or if He'll even use it at all. All I know is that I must keep stepping....and I'm speaking into the future that I'm going to be more than OK. Trusting that my future self in walking in light, love and God's divine purpose for my life."

Losses happen. But you and I are going to be okay.

Relationship Resurrection

At the time of this writing, it’s been 9 months since my dad took his last breath. Nine months since I stood at his bedside and watched his cancer-ridden body struggle to survive in between painful breaths. Nine months since I kissed his warm skin and saw his eyes search the hospital room until he found my face. Nine months have passed since I got that call from my teary-voiced mother that my father no longer existed on this earth.

So much got buried with my father. His hearty laughter. His brilliant smile. The gentle way he said my name. Family history that we’ll never know. So much dies when a father passes away. And truth is—a big part of me died that day.

Ironically, a big part of me also came back to life. You see, at one time the relationship between my father and I was dead. It was like Lazarus in the Bible—wrapped in grave clothes and buried behind a heavy stone. I hated the man my father had become: selfish, at times mean and withdrawn. It wasn’t until years after I moved out on my own that I discovered my father had been living with a drug addiction. He was a functioning addict. One who went to work every day; cleaned up nice, smiled and waved at the neighbors and won people over with that smile of his. But I knew the ugly secret and I hated my father. Never wanted to speak to him again. Wished him dead even.

:::

Finish reading over at (in)courage

Tides of Life

"Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal."  ~Jerome Fleishman

Sometimes the waters of life rise higher than we'd like them to. Reminds me of my little two year old this summer at the beach. He'd splash, play and giggle until the water splashed near his belly. Fun turned to fear and would he reach for me to pick him up.

Sometimes the troubling tides of life rise a little higher than we anticipated. Fear grips our hearts. We scramble to escape. But we have to remember that we have a Rock that is higher than us. (His name is Jesus.) Don't ever forget that. And if it's not you watching the waters rise above your ankles, take the time out to encourage a friend, pray for them, reach out to them--sometimes it's the smallest gesture that makes all the difference.

Dog Paddling Through Faith

"People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground." ~Marcel Proust

He's learning to swim. He struggled a bit that first day. Hard for a momma to watch because I can't learn to swim for him. Day one included learning to blow bubbles under water and the dog paddle. Hardest thing about the dog paddle he said is that you have to lift your feet off the bottom of the pool. There's no other way to do the dog paddle than to get those feet off the ground. But finally he did it and he made his way across the width of the pool. A sweet little victory!

Feeling alot like this little guy lately. No other way to walk with God than to just jump in with both feet. It would be nice to walk with one foot in the world of faith and one foot firmly planted in the world of logic and reason. I find myself saying, "God, I'll follow you if you tell me where we're going." What kind of faith is that?

Hebews 8:11 in The Message Bible says: "By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going."

In Genesis 12, God told Abraham to uproot himself and his family from their familiar surroundings and move to a new land. It was a test of faith and obedience for a 75-year-old man. Abraham did as he was told.

It was by no means a perfect faith, but the fact the he got up and journeyed as God led Him speaks volumes. Would you be as willing given the same circumstances. Are you that willing now in our own journey of faith?

If my little six year old can get in a pool and dog paddle his way across the water, surely I can do the same in my faith! Can you?

Rain Yesterday, Sun Today: Lessons From the Storm

Flower in the rain

Yesterday was full of gray skies and thunder showers here in Southern California. Rain is nice. But what's even better is the day after.

Today the sky is swept clean of the ever-present L.A. smog. Bright blueness is stretched above our heads. Puffy white clouds. Dust & dirt wiped away from the streets. Plants, trees and flowers are revived and flourishing after yesterday's showers.

Rain in necessary for it brings forth new life. Wipes away the dirt. As I walked on campus to work today, it hit me that rain and storms in our life are inevitable (and sometimes necessary) as well.

Even the tiniest flowers of the field know that if it never rains, then they will never grow.  Sure they got a beating yesterday with the rain and wind, but today they are basking in the sunlight. As one author said, "Jesus Christ is not my security against the storms of life, He is my perfect security in the storms. He has never promised me an easy passage, only a safe landing."

It's hard to see the other side when going through a storm. Hard to imagine the sun when the skies are gray. But they serve a great purpose in our lives. To teach us endurance and to grow us up.

Oh how I wish I could protect my two little boys from every hard thing in life: pain, disappointment, ridicule. But to do that would be hindering them from learning how to handle life. I won't be there always, so they need to build up strength within themselves. God does the same for us. Storms produced at the hand of God yield the greatest blessings.

Is it raining right now in your life? Take heart! Soon the "Son" will shine again, and you will understand what the little flowers know—if it never ever rained, then you would never ever grow.

When God's Promises Hurt

Photo courtesy of Flickr

Most people miss the promise of God for them because those promises often come cloaked in pain.

Childbirth reminds me a lot of walking with God and obtaining His promise. At the end of labor, there is the promise of a beautiful baby yet to be met. A face whose features were dreamed about but yet to be seen. Little fingers and toes yet to be kissed. Baby's breath yet to be inhaled slowly..sweetly..again and again. But we don't get the promised joy of seeing our baby for the first time until we endure the shooting pains of labor.

I used to think that God's promises were like Christmas packages--glittering wrapping paper on boxes topped with shiny bows waiting for us. Oh, but God doesn't work like that. His promises come with a price tag sometimes. An often painful price tag.

• God promised Abraham a child. But it came with the pain of patiently waiting for years in the face of old age.
• God's promises came to young Joseph in a dream. But the promise unfolded with a trip to a ditch, slavery and jail before it finally came to pass.
• God promised the children of Israel a land flowing with milk and honey but it came with 40-year trek through the wilderness first.
• David was promised the throne, but had to wait 15 years (and endure life threats from his own father in law).

These are just a few of the promises that came packaged in pain. I marvel at these heroes of faith who didn't ditch these promises, but instead clutched them even tighter to their chests. What a crazy thought isn't it? I'm thinking I would have ditched the promise and opted for my own plan. But that's the thing about God. When He gives you a promise, it's all you can do to not let go of it. Even in the face of naysayers and things looking like they are going in every direction but the fulfillment of the promise.

Maybe you are in no man's land waiting on what seems like a ridiculous promise. You're in good company. Think of Noah. He was given God's word that it was going to rain. So he built that ark as others shook their heads. Rain? "What's that?" people must have asked him as he shuttled wood to the building site. I'm sure there were days he wanted to chuck those tools and the promise too. But oh, how glad he must have been as that ark floated on the water providing a safe haven. The pain of the ridicule from naysayers was soothed by the fulfillment of the promise.

Now don't think for one minute that God pairs promises with pain just to get a kick out of watching us squirm. No, He's far too loving and wise for that. He knows that pain produces patience. And the very promise that He will surely grant us become the tool by which He refines us. Only God could do something like that. Romans 5 says "We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." God is working something far greater in us than we can see. I love how The Message Bible interprets these verses: "we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" Pain in the promise keeps us in alert expectancy because we are continually looking for God to fulfill His promise.

So if you are waiting in the valley of an unfulfilled promise, take heart. God has not forgotten about you. Don't you for one minute believe that lie. If God handed the promise down, He will bring it to pass.